So, I just noticed that I really like starting my posts with the word "so"... And if I don't start a whole post with the word "so," I guarantee there will be at least one paragraph that begins with it.

recital is fini.

I enjoyed my recital - in fact, I regret not pushing myself harder. I was feeling more musical than I'd ever felt before. I wanted to sing through my instrument. It helped that I was playing on perhaps the best reed I've ever had the privilege to know (I didn't make it, more's the pity).

Recital had great turnout - about 130 people, and there were at least 20 people I didn't even know. Lots of my mother's work friends.. lots of my grandmother's school friends (the principal of the school where she volunteers was there with his wife, wtf?).

So now what? I'm starting to feel like this is the end of my musical career, but.. somehow, I don't want it to be the end. The recital galvanized me.. I realized that - with a good reed - I could enjoy playing the oboe. aka career. We'll see, I suppose. Oh yah, and everybody at the recital.. EVERYBODY, asked me "so what's next?" The first time I heard that question I thought it was inspired, so I gave a long-winded answer. By the time the last person asked me, I had shortened it to about half a sentence, to the point of sounding positively laconic.

Is it bad that I don't like the cohen brothers' movies? I missed out on that section of brain entitled "Cohen bros' humor" - I just sit stony faced through their films looking for an excuse to laugh (granted, I've only seen a couple...)

Friday is Phi Beta Kappa induction, and I get to wear one of my new dresses (plus the adorbe black pumps I wore to my recital). That alone makes being a good student worth all of the painful hours of studying.

Guess what - it's time to tan again. Maybe even lighten my hair with some chamomile (i heard that it works). I love the feeling of being bronzed and relaxed, and I love the smell of the sun on my skin.... yes, it has a smell. I love fizzy lemonade accompanied by a beautiful novel...lounge chair and bikini required. I love snorkeling. I love getting so hot from the summer sun that you have no choice but to fling yourself into a cool body of water. I love summer brunch. I love iced mochas (only as a relaxing, pleasurable drink - not as a necessary stimulant). I love walking around barefoot on the warm (noon or before) pavement (too hot after noon). After months of cold floors and even colder feet, warm concrete feels fabulous.

Ok, now I'm going to go outside.

So... I don't know about you, but I just got my life thrown back into perspective. Slammed back into perspective, rather.

Here I am, chugging along - an excellent academic automaton, if you ask me - feeling good about myself, my accomplishments, my work ethic, etc. Then I read this one girl's blog... a girl I don't even know. Such is the power of facebook, and the stalking that ensues. She's following essentially the same academic trajectory (music + biology) and upon graduation ('09) she is doing med-school work in Africa, learning swahili (mastering it, as far as I can tell), relating all of her daily events in full and entertaining detail, and sounding disgustingly dynamic, witty, and fascinating in the process. I can barely remember two things that happen to me every day... and if I do remember something, it gets garbled and basterdized in translation, to the point that really cool activities are downgraded to worthless, blog-filling fluff.

This girl (if you happen to read my blog and you happen to know who I'm talking about, I apologize), completely inspired me. As per usual, when something inspires me, I tend to catalogue it as something inspiring, and I even plan on acting on that inspiration come dawn... at which point I completely forget I was ever inspired in the first place. Convenient, no? oh.. and she's gorgeous.

Anyhow - first recital rehearsal tomorrow at 2:00 pm. stoked. good reeds, mouth back in shape, music learned. I'm ready (i hope).

Axel is loving his eco-commute to PCC, and I'm loving it too, because it means that I don't have to feel guilty about trapping him at my place in dark (dank) rental rooms. Seriously, the lighting at my house is terrible. Axel cooked black beans from scratch, and heated up some Saurkraut (sp?) - tasted like pooh, but it felt ethnic.

Hmm, sometimes I worry that I have my academic priorities mixed up - every once in a while I feel like I am getting good grades to prove wrong anyone and everyone who doubted my intellectual prowess. High school teachers who warned me about hubris... ex-roommates who condescendingly implied that I had a light "liberal arts" workload (when I was just doing music). Then, at other times... most other times... I feel genuinely interested in what I'm learning. I love knowing WHY and HOW everything works. Life, instead of being cheapened by learning all the secrets, becomes infinitely more beautiful and fragile.. yet powerful at the same time.

I also believe that I am finally completing the transition from a sophomoric dependence on sweet coffee drinks to a more dignified reliance on black coffee. No awful sugar high - just a pure caffeine high.

Also - i'm potentially running into a problem with letters of rec- I know lots of music teachers VERY well. I also know that they'd be more than happy to provide glowing letters of recommendation. I DON'T know any science teachers... at least not beyond the occasional question in lecture. I should really start building relationships.


And as usual - worthless acquaintances pass like ships in the night (that's the expression, no?), and the ones that matter - well, they're not going nowhere.